I like Jakob Dylan... but that's not at ALL what this xanga post will be concerning... In less than 24 hours, my demeanor has drastically changed.... from feeling loved and cared about.... to feeling like I have a sign on my forehead that reads, "FEEL SORRY FOR ME!" Yesterday, I felt so blessed and loved... Everyone that worked together to help me move reminded me of why we need relationships....why teamwork is best....why we need church....why doing hard or boring things with amazing people can be fun. Everything was moved into the house in less than 2 hours -that's pretty amazing. I'm still thankful... It wasn't about what we were doing, but the aura that surrounded the 'event'. I want to focus on that positive aura while I ooze out the 'negative'... The negative?... What's so negative?.. I have a fucking eating disorder... many girls do... boo hoo for me. It's my thorn, and I'm working on it.... It effects everything I do and nothing that I do depending on my day. Unless you have one, you don't understand.... Every situation in my life is good....but it has the umbrella of "eating disorder" that shades it from glowing... I know this... It's certainly not a secret.... Pray that my thorn doesn't pierce, only teaches me to live better. My life may never be full of drama.... Unlike many, I don't want drama.... I've lived in Cincinnati my whole life because God's shown me what to love about it....because God's given me an amazing family who loves me more than I could ever imagine....because God continues to bring individuals into my world daily that I experience Him with- I guess thats the beauty of having an amazing job and getting to meet amazing people everyday, people who happen to be patients...people who teach me more about life and love by shitting on themselves or into my hand than I could ever learn at a sponsored event or outreach program. I love that I live here. I love that I work here. I love that I have plenty of time to travel to visit those who live elsewhere. I love that I get to experience life with individuals who decide to grace my world... I love that there are people who pray for me... and I love that there are others who ask for prayer so that I can pray for them. I may not always love living here, which is fine... but right here, right now, God is. So... back to Jakob... "You're old enough to know well The better things are all up hill Bitter songs are never sung In the highlands where you belong In the smoke of cannons below Men they bury each other in rows People come people go Work in numbers and leave alone. There's a light making its way On up the mountain night and day You'll get tired and you'll get weak But you won't abandon your masterpiece. Off to sleep you'll go Through the halls and opened doors Silver bells swinging low Strung in branches of the unknown Soon morning comes To warm the world and wake you up Night is gone awful fast It aint wrong to be sad. There's a light making it's way On up the mountain night and day. You'll go down and you'll go deep But you won't surrender your masterpiece. Here it comes and there it goes The unbearable sound Of the earth making men out of boys First you learn then you'll teach About the bright light." | 
